I cannot believe we are already in mid-September. I truly have no idea where this year has gone.
This is the time of year we begin to hear people say things like “Thank GOD this year is almost over”… but that is not what I’m about to say.
Statements like that have never sat well with me because they’re often over used… and looking over an entire year?, 365 days of our life and chalking up every. single. one. as being “BAD” always felt… depressing.
Are some years better than others? Of course!!! And sometimes people really do experience the worst year of their lives. But when we look at an entire year objectively, it’s always my hope that there are at least some pockets of good we can find– even if we’ve dealt with a lot of hard things.
I posted about this on Instagram and Facebook at the end of 2017.
I imagine upon hearing that, 2018 promptly said “hold my beer” and proceeded to warm up it’s pitching arm to throw curve ball after curve ball – lol
I don’t know if mercury permanently decided to be in retrograde or what but I quite literally lost track of how many things this year ended up going in the POLAR opposite direction as my expectations– and I lost track probably around April.
I won’t call it a “BAD” year– because it wasn’t– and isn’t. It has, however, been a series of surprises.
Some of these surprises felt disappointing– others? overwhelming, confusing… and then there were moments it all just felt like a big ol’ bag of all of the above.
There is always a lot of talk a lot about how “fake” things are online– particularly on Instagram and Facebook; how people only share their highlight-reels. And to be completely honest? That is exactly what I shared this year– my highlight reel– but trust that it was in no way to be fake or misleading.
It was because that is what *I* needed to focus on– the fun, the happy, the up-lifting moments– because all of that was also happening and equally as real as the overwhelm.
And while I’ve heard people say that seeing only highlight-reels can be depressing, on the flip side (for me anyway) sharing the heavier stuff felt like it would only make me dwell longer– so I didn’t.
Also, privacy. Also? I just didn’t have the words for some of it– and as this post pours out of me with layers of vague undertones it is becoming clear that I still don’t.
This vagueness may read deep and dramatic but that is absolutely not the intention– nor is it the case.
I am good. We are good. All is good.
I just needed a minute (or a summer– ha). And I think that sometimes life happens in this way to remind us that its ok to slow down when we need to, right?
A few days ago, I looked at my vision board (as I continued to do all year) and realized how many of the things still happened– despite the unexpected curve balls.
Manifesting may sound hippy dippy you guys, but let me tell you that there were/are things on that board that I would look at every day and think “that really needs to be taken down” because those things were simply no longer even an option –– and then POOF! –– suddenly those things were happening.
And the crazier part is that I have absolutely no idea WHY I didn’t take them down.
Moral of the story: MANIFEST THE CRAP OUR OF YOUR LIFE– even if it starts to feel completely ridiculous.
The official new year starts in January but for me September has always been a new year of sorts as well.
And instead of looking at 2018 and thinking “Thank GOD it’s almost over”, I’m choosing to look at it as “Thank GOD it happened”.
I learned a lot and am not the same person I was when it began.
It’s been a year of reflection– a teaching year and I think the lessons I had to learn were to not clench so tightly to my own expectations, to trust the timing of our lives, and to lean into the surprises and shifts that happen to us as well as the ones we feel deep within our bones because each time we push through, we gain a new found sense of confidence in who we really are.