Everyday Cori By Corine Ingrassia | Beauty, Travel & Lifestyle

Rediscovering and redefining life beyond your 30's

The Everyday

Knowing When Youre Done

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Lately it seems everyone is all up-in-my-ovaries. Everywhere I turn I’m being asked the question that, if we’re being truthful– none of us like but all of us ask…

“Do you think you’ll have one more?”

My mother and sister are jointly texting me their not so subtle hints of :

“We’ve discussed. We think its time for one more” [SEND]

My gynocologist inquired “So, are you here because you’re breaking the tie?” – Really, you too?  I was just stopping in for my annual exam.

But perhaps the part that I loath most about this line of questioning is pressure-statements that follow. “Well the boy *is* already 6 years old– you need to make up your mind soon” … “You’re already 31. You only have what? another 4years?”

Societies window of  “have time to decide” to “You need to hurry up, the clock is ticking” comes slamming shut in a way that I can only compare to when we were planning our wedding. No one wanted to talk to you until 6 months before because it was TOO early, then suddenly its 5 1/2 months before your wedding and in what seems like a blink of an eye everyone is in panic mode because “you don’t have much time”.  It’s insanity at best. Only when you are taking in terms of biological clocks… its way more stressful.

For me, my answer to “Do you want to break the tie?”  changes literally- every.single.day. I have days that I look at my kids and could cry because they’re so big. I look at newborns and my heart melts. But then I ask myself, do I just miss my kids being babies or do I want actually want another child? There is a BIG difference there, and honestly I don’t know.

My husband comes from a a simple family of 4 (only one sibling) and so he is perfectly content the way things are now with our boy and our girl.  But I look at the big family I was raised in and think- somehow growing old seems more bearable surrounded by a big family. The kids having another sibling, the house always being full for the holidays– but am I willing to tack on more years of diapers and sleepless nights (not to mention an extra 20 minutes of prep time onto even the quickest store runs)?

Thoughts of having the 3rd baby isn’t filled with the same visions of tiny cute clothes or “I’m a big brother” t-shirts your first 2 were. And I am constantly playing devils advocate with myself because the thought of having a 3rd child is harder  than the thought of having the first.

I have one friend who has told me in the past “If you are not sure, you are not done.”  While I don’t know if that is true, I ‘m wondering– how did you know when you were done?

{{ Ironically, as I sit here writing a post about having a 3rd , my 3 year old has decided to have a meltdown because she doesn’t want to go to sleep. So, um… tonight? 3 sounds like a future in a padded room to me.}}

In related news: Scary Mommy just posted these HILARIOUS Congrats on Baby greeting cards. A MUST see.

5 Tips For First Time Speakers

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This past weekend I had the pleasure of attended and speaking at the Blogalicious Weekend, in Washington, DC. Speaking to large groups can be nerve wrecking. Speaking to a group of your peers (in my opinion) can be even more nerve wrecking- and Tina and I were slated to speak about networking in front 200+ bloggers after the opening keynote, who was sure to be nothing short of inspiring and uplifting …  and he was {{let the hyperventilating begin}}. People laughed when I told them that I hadn’t a clue who was coming to the conference. But it was true. I hadn’t searched the hashtag, asked around, talked about it….nothing. In my mind, the less people I knew in the crowd, THE BETTER. Speaking in front of 200 people didn’t freak me out. Giving advice to 200 fellow bloggers didn’t freak me out either…. thinking about the people I might know in the crowd on the other hand, made. me. want. to. vomit. I didn’t think about all the friendly faces I’d see- like Carol, Issa and Roo who sat front and center rooting us on 🙂 -because they’re all sorts of awesome-sauce. I thought about the others who I’ve seen speak before- whom might be bored, disagree with the advice I was giving, and find the game we had worked so hard on- completely lame- (even though it was really totally awesome, just sayin’). Now having the experience successfully behind me, and realizing how silly all that worrying was- I wanted to share some advice for others thinking of applying to speak or being asked to speak at a conference.

Here are my top 5 tips for first time speakers:

– Know your topic and be passionate. The more knowledgeable you are on the topic, the more confident you will be. If you’re bored with the topic, your audience will be bored too- so be sure you’re speaking on something you are passionate about. People love passion. It’s what inspires and keeps them engaged- even if its a topic that initially they weren’t sure they were totally into.

– Get out of your own head. Those voices of doubt, they are always wrong. It’s self sabotage at its best and its awful. Remember that anyone who might be in the crowd that you might consider a “seasoned pro”, has had a “first time” speaking experience. No one is born a pro. We are all fine tuning our craft.

– Find that person in the crowd smiling and nodding in agreement and focus on them. When I was at She Streams and Blogalicious I had the privilege to hear the inspiring Renee Syler speak in which she leveled with the crowd and told them “Not everyone is going to like you. LET THAT BE THEIR PROBLEM.” And it completely applies to speaking. There will be people who might disagree with your tips, but that’s ok- because for every person like that there are 2 or 3 others nodding and taking notes. Focus on speaking to those people.

– Ask for a quick tutorial on the venue’s presentation clicker. I learned not all clickers are created equal. I assumed the one I would be using was like the one’s I’ve used in offices before- and it was not. So that tripped me up a bit, but I continued on and the AV guy and Tina eventually got things under control. {Whew!}

– Try to give a few online tools and resources that people can reference. Everyone wants to walk away with not only advice, but tangible tools they can take away and sites to reference at home.  If you can put the presentation online that is always helpful and appreciated too. And then… when its all done, grab your roomies and… Wobble.

Thanks to Tina and Roo for a ton of  laughs throughout the weekend.  Go check out their sites- they have some fun videos and pics from the conference as well. Also, stop by and visit the gals of Getting Gorgeous, Natalie,  Rachel, Lori and Gigi who provided us with their tips and sound bites for our presentation video (posted on Lifewithoutpink.com). And of course, a BIG thank you to Therapon Skin Health who was our sponsor for this conference and provided our Blogger Bingo winners with their amazing skin-care line!

My Toddlers Purse: The Clothes Smuggler.

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Over the past 2 years I’ve done a few posts translating the contents of my toddler’s purse.  Those posts would ( and still do) crack me up because since the age of 18 months old, I’ve had this bite-sized diva who dashes around the house feverishly packing up her “essentials” every time we go out. Despite how important it would appear that these select items are to a Toddler’s needs on the road, history would show that typically- these items are completely random. A plastic piece of fruit, her brothers action figure, a broken crayon- RANDOM.

Random that is- until she turned 3.  Then she started getting strategic.

Girlfriend whipped out a change of clothes in the middle of a restaurant! She had coordinated and packed in a matter of minutes- an entire outfit, accessories (including a crown, naturally) and plastic princess heels!

I’ve never seen the year 2027 flash in front of me so clearly. We are going to have to lock this child in her room for her teenage years.

How To: Ham & Cheese Lasagna

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My son, at 6 years old is a total foodie. And not just in the way his Mom is a foodie (the consuming kind), he actually enjoys cooking!

He is enrolled in a cooking class right now and not that he ever really leaves me any to taste, from the scraps and crumbs I’ve had the honor of nibbling on, he is learning to cook some delish meals.

Although cooking with him at the moment completely stresses me out, I am trying- with every ounce of my being to embrace this passion of his- because I know with the proper training in a few years I could very well be running my very own dinner-sweat shop  have the very next Top Chef on my hands.

So this week we cooked the Ham & Cheese lasagna he cooked a few weeks ago in class.

Try it. You will die and go to cheese heaven- I promise.

HAM & CHEESE LASAGNA RECIPE

ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 large onion, chopped (1 cup)
  • 4 stalks celery, thinly sliced (2 cups)
  • 4 carrots, chopped (2 cups)
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 3 cups sliced crimini mushrooms or other small brown mushrooms (8 oz.)
  • 2 cups cubed cooked ham
  • 2 cups whipping cream
  • 1 14 1/2-ounce can diced tomatoes with basil, garlic, and oregano
  • 1/2 cup water
  • Salt and ground black pepper
  • 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1-1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese (6 oz.)
  • 12  lasagna noodles (7 to 8 oz.)
directions1. Preheat oven to 350 degree F.

2. For sauce, in a 12-inch skillet sauté onion, celery, carrots, and garlic, in hot oil over medium heat for 4-5 minutes until vegetables are tender. Add mushrooms and ham. Cook, uncovered, for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. Stir in cream, undrained tomatoes, water, and wine. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered, 5 minutes. Season to taste with salt and ground black pepper.

4. Boil lasagna noodles.

5. In a bowl combine cheeses.

6. Spoon 1-1/2 cups of the sauce in a 3-quart rectangular baking dish. Sprinkle with 2/3 cup of the cheese mixture. Top with 4 lasagna noodles, overlapping as needed. Repeat twice. Spoon on remaining sauce and sprinkle with remaining cheese mixture.

7. Bake about 30 minutes or until heated through. Let stand, 10 minutes before serving. Makes 12 servings.

Steve Jobs: You cant connect the dots looking forward

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“Your time is limited. Don’t waste it by living someone else’s life.”

-Steve Jobs

To say that Apple has changed my family’s life is an understatement. When Apple puts out a new product, my husband is always one of the early adapters on a pre-order list. We were one of the {few} people who purchased the very first Apple TV for an unheard of $299. And even when Popular Mechanics named The Apple TV one of “The worst products of 2007” my husband defended its technology til’ the end.

It was this kind of “loyalty” {read: obsession} that made me bake an iphone cake for my husband’s 29th birthday and then throw an iPad/iPhone themed 30th birthday party the following year.

I often teased about the obsession. But as much as I teased, I knew the truth was  I wouldn’t know what to do without my iPhone. I once lost it while Christmas shopping at the mall and completely freaked out. “MY LIFE IS ON THAT PHONE.” … as dramatic as the words sounded. It was true. Later that night, that phone was found much thanks to Apple’s GPS technology & Mr. Complicated’s determination to track it down in the pouring rain.

And as I type on my Mac Air with my hubby next to me browsing on his iPad, there is no denying that Steve Jobs changed the world. And today, the world lost an incredible visionary who’s words sound only more brilliant every time they are echoed.

  • “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
  • “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

RIP STEVE JOBS

1955-2011

Cheeks.

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Oh my gosh, her cheeks are HUGE. …

{Over heard in the background as I lie in the operating room  “Baby, she has your cheeks!”}

… oh, no he didn’t.

Yes, those were my very first thoughts when I looked at my baby girl for the very first time, 3 years ago today.  Maybe not the sweetest story, I know. But its true, her cheeks were the chunkiest little cheeks I had ever seen. I couldn’t wait to pinch them. I couldn’t wait to hold her. To dress her in all of the pink, frilly, outfits and bows I had been collecting for 9 months, and dreaming about for a life time. She was finally here, my daughter. My mini-me.

She went through her bought of colic, and never wanted to be put down for the first 3 months but when I held her, her sweet, lovable disposition was obvious and we were all (even her then 3 year old brother) instantly in love.

She would suck her thumb and snuggle up next to me, trying to tuck her little face into the corner of my arms- something she still does when she comes into our room to sleep at night.

She inspired this blog.

And before I knew it- I was planning a first birthday.

Where did the time go?

We watched her go from baby to toddler, still with those sweet chunky cheeks, packing up her purse before she left the house at just 18 months. Sometimes, the items she packed were questionable, but one thing was for sure this little tot had a mission to be her own person.

And suddenly she was 2.

Where did the time go?

This is when I believe she made the executive decision to NEVER . EVER. look at a camera again. Maybe she thought it we would give up, boy did she have a lot to learn about her parents. We continued to be her paparazzi, hoping to hold on to every last baby moment. We also continued to kiss and pinch those cheeks repeatedly because- well how could you not?

She became curious to know what the hype was?

Tea parties became a daily routine. She discovered her inner fashionista this year, dressing up in tutus and princess dress, sun glasses and plastic heels, which we all know now as “hot shoes”.

And though sibling rivalry reared its head this year, just as she learned to play Mary when her brother wanted to play Cake Boss,

her brother learned to slow dance when she was wanted to be a ballerina and become Flynn Ryder when she was Rapunzel…

And now, today… she is 3.

And I am picking her up from pre-school where she is celebrating her very first in-class birthday party.

Where did the time go?

 Happy Birthday to my sweet, adorable, pinchable cheek’d fashionista.

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